The Dangers of Recordings – from another angle
Many people, including myself, have written on the dangers of recordings – how they superimpose interpretations on impressionable ears, make one performer’s eccentricities standard, etc. But there’s one danger that has perhaps been overlooked – the threat of high-fidelity recordings being used in practical jokes…
I know of several such regrettable instances, two of which come to mind instantly. The first was set up by a pianist-scholar (name diplomatically withheld) in his long-ago student days. History lectures at his music-school were given in a lecture room with 2 identical doors, one leading in and out of the room, the other leading into a huge cupboard, large enough to hold several bodies. Before one lecture, the pianist-scholar secreted himself in the cupboard, and waited for the professor to enter and begin. He waited until 5 minutes into the lecture – and then played back a tape recording of a very noisy toilet flushing (the old high-up cast iron chain-pull type, producing a terrific clank, whoosh and gurgle) before coolly emerging and taking a seat, with the normal apology for being late. The incident didn’t exactly help concentration levels for the rest of that day’s class…
The second prank was perpetrated on ME by my good (well, usually!) friend, the pianist Jeremy Denk. Jeremy and I were sharing a cottage at the Open Chamber Music session at IMS Prussia Cove, in Cornwall. One morning I got up – never a pleasant experience – and went down my set of stairs to make a cup of tea. I’d started the process when suddenly I froze: noises of the most embarrassing sort, of two people involved in an extremely intimate act, were coming down the separate set of stairs leading up to Jeremy’s room. I felt trapped. True, I could have just stolen away; but I needed my tea – and besides, I had to get on with the day. So, as silently as I could, I made the tea and was just about to escape to my end of the cottage, when I heard footsteps on Jeremy’s stairs. That was even more embarrassing – what was I going to say to him? But it was too late – there was Mr Denk, looking annoyingly pleased with himself. A moment later, though, I became conscious of something very odd: the embarrassing noises were still going on! It took me a few more moments (with my pre-tea morning brain not working at full capacity) to work out what had happened: Jeremy had waited for me to get up, and had then pressed the play button on his (impressively-speakered) computer. What was MOST annoying was that I’d fallen for it completely – with the result that the smirk stayed on Jeremy’s face for the rest of the day. And I felt like an idiot… I tell you, recordings are dangerous!
